I'm a little snowman.

Monday, January 24, 2011 - Posted by -Kel at 5:32 PM
Two weeks ago Little Man's Kindergarten class hosted Warrior Wake Up. Their theme was "snowmen" and Mrs. McK wanted everyone to dress like a snow man. I went to Michael's on Sunday and found a white t-shirt (adult small) and some big black buttons and sewed them on. The t-shirt was short sleeved so we put it on over a nicer long sleeved shirt with some black and silver designs on it. Then we wrapped one of my scarves around his neck, popped his stocking hat on his head, and painted his nose orange (you know, cuz it's supposed to be a carrot).


The kids were all so cute! Each one had a speaking part too. This was my little man's bit. "Halito! My name is Squirt. Our school quote is.... No bees, no honey. No work, no money." Halito is Choctaw for "Hello".


After everyone did their individual bits, they sang a little song to the rest of the school. Sing it to yourself to the tune of "I'm a Little Teapot".

I'm a little snowman, short and fat.
Here are my buttons, here is my hat.
When the sun comes out I can not stay.
Slowly I just melt away.


When they finished and the gym cleared out, they all posed for a group picture for all the Moms and Dads. I think after a while they got tired of standing there with a smile plastered on their faces.



This is probably one of the cutest things I've ever seen. Back in the classroom, Mrs. McK took a video of them singing their song and submitted it to one of the local news stations. They are supposed to show it during the morning weather report the first week of February!

Really?

Sunday, January 23, 2011 - Posted by -Kel at 9:42 AM
We were all sitting around in the training building between sessions. A few people from my table were chatting with a couple of ladies sitting at the table in front of us.

I can't even remember what the actual conversation was about, I wasn't really paying that much attention. Someone said something about a business in Midwest City. I piped up "Yeah, that's over by blah, blah, blah.." (I still don't remember)

This caught Potreen's attention and she asked me where I was from. I told her I lived in Choctaw, but graduated from Midwest City. Michelle immediately started asking if I knew this person or this person or anyone with this last name.

Back story

My time as a MWC Bomber was not what I would call memorable. I started there my Junior year, after moving back to the States from Turkey. This was my third new beginning in four years. I was nervous and scared about starting over in a new school. The girl assigned to show me around on my first day quickly walked me through the halls and to my first class. She wasn't much for making conversation with me, and then she was gone. I never saw her again. It quickly became obvious that I wasn't going to be able to break my way into any one's group of friends. They had all been established since second grade. I spent the first 4 days lunch period by myself, reading on the front steps. I hadn't made any friends yet and I refused to go into the cafeteria alone. Once I did make a couple of friends, that was all I got. These kids were also military brats and knew what it felt like to have to start over. I never knew most of my classmates, and to this day I don't want anything to do with any of them.

So while Michelle was throwing her names at me and I was gathering myself to explain that I didn't have many friends in school and didn't remember names of anyone else, Potreen interrupted (in her most obnoxiously loud voice) "What she's tryin' to say is do you know any black people?"

?!?!?!

Complete silence.

"Wow. Really??? Just Wow." I was dumbfounded

"I guess that's a no." she says, and turns back to everyone else, rolling her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I thought we were just talking about people. I didn't realize we had sub-categories." I glared at her and finished my explanation to Michelle.

This all happened 3 days ago and it still pisses me off. How did a conversation about who I went to school with turn into a black and white issue? And just where the hell does she get off judging me? I feel like she was implying that I was racist and that really hurt me.

I don't have any problems with anyone unless they have personally done something to deserve it. Religion, race and sexual orientation have nothing to do with my opinions of people.

 I do however have issues with narrow minded, judgemental, bitchy people.

Just sayin'.

Hit and Run

Sunday, January 16, 2011 - Posted by -Kel at 7:47 AM
It was Friday and I didn't feel good. I had been fighting a cold all week and decided to go in to work long enough to key time cards and cash some checks for my drawer and then go home. But you all know Murphy's Law. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

My first indication that this was not going to be a stellar day should have been the inmate release papers that I found shoved under my office door. I thought to myself that surely the release was for next week or even next month, but no. The date staring me in the face was 1/14/11. And what's even better is that this particular inmate was an illegal being picked up by Immigration for deportation, which meant there was no scheduled time of release and there was NO telling what time I.C.E would actually show up for him. Great. And I had to wait for him to go so that he could sign my paperwork so that I could then process a reimbursement before I left. Yay.

So I processed the funds release, wrote and keyed time cards, and processed my system releases in record time. Around 9:30 I decided to run to the bank and cash the checks when my boss called me in to his office. By the time he finished explaining the working papers he wanted me to do to prepare for Program Review (5 months away) it was 10, and Receiving and Discharge was calling me to say that Immigration was coming through the door. I still had not made it to the bank.

I ran over to R&D and gave the Immigration Officer the money for the inmate, whipped out a reimbursement voucher to send to Treasury and was on my way to the bank by 10:15. I was next in line at the bank, waiting for my turn with a teller when one of the bank employees called to me from behind the customer service desk. "I can help you over here," she yelled. I looked at her and thought to myself "I doubt it, but let's see," I walked over to her, handed her the checks and said "I need these cashed and this is how I need it broken down." She looked the checks over and said "Well I can do the bills but I don't have any coin. We'll have to.."

"No, I need it broken down exactly like this," I interrupted. She then proceeded to hand the checks back to me and said "You'll probably need to see one of these two tellers over here" indicating the row of cashiers that I was ALREADY in line to see in the first place. I thought to myself  "no way in hell am I going to the back of that damn line" and so I stood directly in front of the windows just waiting for one to open up. When one became free I began to step forward at the same time another woman from the original line did. She proceeded to give me the stink eye and said "The line is back there," pointing at it. At this point I must admit that I completely lost my cool.

"YEAH? I was already IN THAT LINE and SHE called me over and can't even help me! It's MY turn!" I yelled at the lady. The entire bank froze and stared at me while the she mumbled "I didn't know," and returned to the front of the line. I didn't care at all that I had just made a HUGE scene, I just wanted to finish so I could go home. I handed the teller my checks and listened to her try to berate me for my outburst. "She didn't know. We pull customers from the line. She didn't know." she said to me with disdain barely hidden in her voice. I just glared at her and thought "Shut your trap and cash my effing checks, Barbie,". She counted out my money and I was finally on my way.

After I took the money back to work and locked it in my safe I was finally free. I had big plans that included PJ's, a box of Kleenex, my Kindle and maybe some NyQuil. I was about 5 miles away from work when it happened. I was driving on the interstate in the far left hand lane. To my right and about 1/2 a car length ahead of me was another car, green I think. A woman in a full size Chevy pickup came barrelling up behind the green car, right up on her ass, and I knew what was coming next. She wanted my spot and didn't care that I was already there. She even looked in her rear view mirror and made eye contact with me! As she started to come over I lay on the horn. It didn't matter, she just kept coming. So I grabbed tight to the wheel and jumped on my brakes, just trying to stay off the retaining wall as she hit my right front fender.

My ability to keep control of my own vehicle caused her to fishtail and then scrape down the wall on the left. I'm not sure if she bounced off the wall or over corrected (my guess is the second) but suddenly she was turned back out into traffic, sideways, where she then t-boned a Chevy S-10. He went spinning while she bounced off of him (I don't think she slowed down at all) and then he came to a stop in the middle of the interstate. I looked past the S-10 to see her continue, balls to the wall, down the interstate in a trail of smoke.

I cried and cried and cried. I wasn't hurt, just upset. The guy in the S-10 was hurt though. She nailed him squarely in the drivers door and pretty much turned the S-10 into an arc. The appropriate authorities and an ambulance came. I called hubby and asked him to come even though the truck was still drivable. I just needed him to be there for me, and so he was. Just his presence made me feel a little better, like I wasn't all alone in this. And then the Highway Patrol officer returned with even better news.

They got her.

Someone that was driving behind us and saw the accident followed her and called the police. She had stopped a couple of miles up the interstate at the Wal-Mart. I fully believe that she was going to ditch the truck in a busy parking lot and call someone to come and pick her up. Turns out the truck belonged to her daughter and it was insured. Oh Thank God!

Highway Patrol finished with us and sent us on our way. Hubby and I had a quick lunch and he headed back to work. Finally I was on my way home. Once I got there, curiosity got the best of me. So I grabbed the printout from HP, sat in front of the computer and went to OSCN (Oklahoma Supreme Court Network). I typed in the drivers name...and was instantly rewarded with search returns.

This woman has 5 aliases in addition to the name on her license and has been convicted and served time for the following...

1. Leaving the scene of an accident with injury
2. Driving while under the influence
3. Operating a vehicle in an unsafe manner
4. Possession of a controlled dangerous substance (2x)
5. Possession of drug paraphernalia
6. Larceny of merchandise from a retailer
7. Possession of a cocaine base
8. Possession of drug paraphernalia (different case)

And she had been charged with Possession W/ Intent to Distribute, but those charges were dropped.

So now I'm just waiting for the insurance company to call me back so I can get my truck fixed. How was your day?

Fat girls in glasses.

Friday, January 7, 2011 - Posted by -Kel at 1:10 PM
Last Friday we (hubby, squirt and I) took a trip to Target to get the little man a new lunch box. The problem with this is that a simple trip for a lunch box turned into a $75 mini shopping spree, with every one of us acquiring a couple of new items each. My favorite purchase for myself was one of those military style cadet caps. A little like this one...


When I first put it on in the store, it was only as a half assed joke; any time we are near the hats I will try a few on just for giggles. But hubby thinks I look good in hats and this one was no exception. I checked myself out in the mirror and was rather pleased myself. So in the cart it went. I decided that this would be my "it's the weekend and I'm not doing my hair so I'll just wear a hat" hat and I wore it for the rest of the day.

Saturday morning was time to go grocery shopping. So I donned my little hat (on top of wet hair) and wandered off to Crest. All is well until I reach the meat counter. Standing in front was a fairly large, round woman in glasses and the same style hat as mine, but hers was multi-colored plaid and so I didn't really think too much about it. However, the remainder of my shopping trip brought me in close proximity to three more large, round women wearing glasses and hats just like mine, color and all!!! And we kept passing each other on the aisles as we shopped, staring each other down. They were probably telling themselves the same thing I was muttering to myself; I look so much better in this hat than you do, bitch! I ROCK this hat!

After several days of contemplation, I have come to the conclusion that this hat speaks the language of fat girls in glasses, as obviously we are the only ones to hear it's call to be bought and worn. Mine has been hanging from the back of my dining room chair since Saturday. That may be its final resting place.

Out of the Mouths of Babes.

Monday, January 3, 2011 - Posted by -Kel at 4:03 PM
My son loves the show Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe. He finds the man hilarious and is well aware that he also does commercials for Ford and Lee Jeans. Anytime one of these commercials comes on I hear "Mommy! It's Mike Rowe!". Now just keep the Lee Jeans commercial in mind while I tell my tale.

So for Christmas my little man received a pair of Lee Jeans as a gift. Attached to the leg was a sticker that read "Official Jeans of Mike Rowe" and had a copy of his signature. When L opened them, hubby said "Hey! Those are the same jeans as Mike Rowe!" knowing that L would think himself pretty special. I pointed to the sticker with the signature on it and asked L if he knew what it said, as he's starting to learn to read. He came real close to me and took a good long look. Then he leaned over and whispered in my ear...  "They make my butt look good."

Frienemies

Sunday, January 2, 2011 - Posted by -Kel at 11:11 AM
I told myself when I started using Facebook that my friend list would be comprised of just that, my actual friends. So I set up my account so that my comments, posts, pictures, etc. could only be viewed by my friends. But the most restrictive setting for friend requests was "friend of a friend", meaning someone had to be on one of my friend's friend list or they couldn't request to be my friend (did I lose you there?).

And then I started making exceptions to my rule. Like TT. She is the younger sister of one of my friends and I've only met her once. But I liked her immediately on meeting her and if I had the opportunity to hang out with her again I certainly would. And then there is Miss N. She used to work with Dad and was looking for someone to take pictures of her gorgeous little boy and of course I jumped at the chance. But I really like her too. She is sweet and funny and a wonderful mommy and I hope she'll let me take pictures of her little man again in the future.

Sigh. And then there are the mistakes I've made in allowing access to my list. These 2 will be rectified (deleted and blocked) today. For the purpose of this post, we will call them 1 and 2.

I have actually known 1 for the last 13 years, and in all that time I don't think she has ever liked me. She is the wife of one of hubby's oldest friends and when I first met her (before hubby and I were dating) I thought she was just really shy. Nope, turns out she's just rude. And apparently nosey. 1 has never made it a secret that she doesn't care for me, so when she started sending friend requests I was confused. "But we aren't friends!" I would say to myself. So I took a look at her friend list. Turns out she was also friends with one of my ex-boyfriends ex-girlfriends that she went to school with and hated vehemently. In addition to that one, my sister in law and one of hubby's cousins were also on her friend list; two women she had never had any real personal interaction with at all. So after months of ignoring and deleting her repeated requests I finally caved and let her in. "It's her own fault if she sees something she doesn't like" I told myself. But let's face it. I'm nosey too.

2 I have kind of known (or maybe known of) for around 12 years. And hubby will be the first one to tell you that I am a complete idiot for allowing her on my friend list because she is hubby's ex-girlfriend (we hung out as couples when I was dating the ex-boyfriend mentioned above). She was apparently working with one of my besties M and was on M's friend list. But she knew how to disarm me right away with her friend request. She said she was interested in seeing my photography. And that did it. With a smile I said "OK!" and clicked on the accept button. And nothing untoward happened until a little over a week ago. 2 made some accusatory comments on Facebook about my friend. Without going into the details, let me just say that I have a different opinion of what 2's expectations should have been and I am LOYAL to my FRIENDS. And then this morning I log in to Facebook to discover a link to her blog, in which she has basically copied one of my own blog posts (here) and is using it as a disclaimer on her own. REALLY!?!?! Are you SO unimaginative that you can't come up with something all your own??? You have to use MY words on your blog??? And you can't even get it right!!! "Your" is possessive (your blog), "you're" is a contraction and is short for "you are"! It's not that hard!!! In short, what I am saying is that you're (not your) really pissing me off this morning!!!

Deep breath. But no more. They are officially done. I have deleted 1 and 2 and have also blocked them from friend requesting me again. Because after all, I have standards.